Archive for March, 1986

1986-03-05

Wednesday, March 5th, 1986
                 
                 35,000 ft, my thoughts like swirling birds.
                 Joan and her spiritualism are focusing me hard.
                 No casual affair; her effect on me.
                 No face passing in a moment of light or lust
                 but a catalyst and an unleashing in me...
                 realizations and recognitions
                 pass like crossing swords where she is.
                 It's not that I should grasp at her
                 or resist her here
                 but that I should let her simply play out
                 her part unburdened
                 and learn from all that she evokes in me
                 or gives to me
                 or takes from me.
                 She brings me my own.
                 My own possessiveness and insecurity,
                 my own needs and fears.
                 She reveals me to myself,
                 so quickly has she cut me open.
                                    gallagher
                                    5 mar 86

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1986-03-06 3/6/86

Thursday, March 6th, 1986
                                                         3/6/86
         Yes, Dennis
         I'm waiting for you to call
         I think you'd like to know that
         But how much shall I say?
         You're very verbal and I like it,
         But if I say too much,
         Are you going to take a few steps back?
         I think this because ... I wonder
            if you're the type who likes to be
               in control?
         Are you the kind that gets uneasy
               when you're not calling the shots?
         After all, if someone gets close by their
               own choice,
         they can always back away;
         they're controling the closeness
         But if someone ELSE leads it ...
               then THEY are "in control".
         I'm not worried.
         Just wondering.
         It's not like I'm contemplating
               throwing myself at you!
         I feel a fondness and affection
         and much interest in your mind
         I like your company
         And am hoping you'll remain
               a friend to me (on one level or another)

                                    Joan
                                    6 Mar 86

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1986-03-08

Saturday, March 8th, 1986

A few days away from everyone
and, finally, some perspective.

It’s becoming clear I want to become
platonic with Rose for both our sakes
and it’s clear also
that Joan’s idea of going slow is good.

Rose and I will never be
what the other’s looking for
and Joan and I or anyone else
can never succeed
unless I can approach love
in a centered way.

I’ve fallen into Joan so quickly
and felt her presence so strongly.

What about just me, alone …
no Rose, no Joan, no Lise.
Just me, centered, happy, and optimistic
and realistic.

That’s someone worth sharing with another.

gallagher
8 mar 86

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —