SamadhiMuse » Family

1971-01-01 — Daniel Martin again

Dennis — Fri, 01 Jan 1971 08:00:00 +0000

                  -- Daniel Martin again
                      or the Plastic Sea Song --
               It's all there, right in my grasp
               but then, is it?
               Are they crazy, or am I?
               And, if it's I, then
               should I do it their way?
               Spining wheels of paradoxs
               ring in my mind and gut.
               Right in my hand the answer,
               it mocks me.
               Afraid to ignore it,
               afraid to look.
               Here's my endless painful moment
               of procrastination
               or was it common sense?
                                 Gallagher
                                   01 Jan 71
                                     Long Beach

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1971-01-28 Freedom

Dennis — Thu, 28 Jan 1971 08:00:00 +0000

                           Freedom
               A sad price we pay sometimes
                  seeing if our dreams are really only dust.
               These empty rooms stare at my independence
                  with their chilling silence
               and my mind echos their stares
                  with the memories of the laughter
                     of those who loved me in these rooms.
               When all my freedom has mocked me
                  and my integrity proved pointless
                     against my pain.
               When wild, free, alone and hungry
                  fail the test of love and company
               will they love me still
                  my Rose and child?
                                    Gallagher
                                      28 Jan 71
                                      Long Beach

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1972-02-23 The morning wind

Dennis — Wed, 23 Feb 1972 08:00:00 +0000

                          The morning wind
            When the morning wind has come again
            to rattle my window pane
            and the morning fog to make
            the dream gray world the same
            the winter's chain it holds me
            in a house overseeing dead grass
               I lay by my lady, spoons cupped
               my arm around her
               breathing the cleaness of her hair
               dreaming...
            Of naked highways
            thru razor mountains
            of my aching muscles
            and eyes that squint in salt
            dreaming...of lust for my other lady
            who will wait for me
            when the season's turned.
               And I will go
               and stand above the tree line
               on some mountain's flank
               to be where only high contrails
               mar 2 billion years of natural selection
               and remembering indian thoughts
               I'll put my watch in my pocket.
            Two ladies love me in this life
            and I can give them neither all
            for while one lies enfolding me
            I hear the other's call.
                                    gallagher
                                    23 feb 72
                                    Long Beach

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1974-12-25 Child

Dennis — Wed, 25 Dec 1974 08:00:00 +0000

                                Child
      To guide a child you must give him attention
      that fills the spaces inbetween his expression
      so that by the very form of your being
      you form the child you love.
                              gallagher
                              25 Dec 1974

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1975-06-27

Dennis — Fri, 27 Jun 1975 08:00:00 +0000

           Like looking in the mirror at myself, great mystery
         this boy, my son, lies here and I look on him...
           born of me to begin again the climb
         he lies innocent of all he will become.
           The great water of evolution, 3 billion years strong
         flows from his mother and I to be together in him
           mixed... and more than its parts.
           Dumb animal, I, I try to consider it
         characters beyond comprehension here, living, mine.
           I can only feel.
                                    gallagher
                                    27 jun 75
                                    - about Danny

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1976-12-24 Christmas Eve

Dennis — Fri, 24 Dec 1976 08:00:00 +0000

                          Christmas Eve

      With watery blue eyes and Norwegian accent,
      Hallard told me, with dignity,
      how it is to live on, afterwards.
      Not much to do at home;
      just the little dog she loved, waiting.

      Chuck's wife, Etta, had said
      he was sleeping on those same sheets
      she had put down after the funeral...
      sleeping in those same pajamas
      and never cleaning up after the dog,
      just spending the evenings in the bars
      until it was time to go to work again.

      Chuck talked a lot; a compulsion.
      He told me about the doctors
      and how hard it was to get the straight
      about those spots on the x-rays.
      One doctor was going to pass him off to another
      without asking him, but he cut him short.
      If they wouldn't consult with him, he'd look elsewhere.

      Rose said he's dying of cancer and that Etta knows it
      but that they don't think he does.
      Etta, I had thought, must be a little simple...
      how she walked around and smiled meekly.
      Unobtrusively passing in and out of our moments,
      not sad, just brittle, like a hurt child
      trying to be good.

      Hallard sat telling me how nice it was
      to have the family together at Christmas...
      the holidays were lonely times since his wife had passed on.

      And I'd been tolerant - pleasant to all of them;
      Rose's relatives and their holiday gathering.
      A bit boisterous and condescending and bored,
      and telling Rose, with barely concealed pride,
      how well I was putting up with it all.

      Hallard will go back to his Los Angeles apartment and his dog
      and Chuck and Etta will go back back to Washington like Rose's parents
      and these moments won't pass again for any of us.

      We won't sit here again in our ignorance and pain,
      the young and the old, the condescending and the patient...

      But its not so bad for us to be here together;
      they see us as spirits yet unbent
      and they can yet find some meaning and hope
      in our ignorance and our condensation and confidence.
      They were young once.

      And we, if our eyes were opened, would see great courage there
      in their eyes and their hours, courage, without cheering,
      courage in the face of death, aging and agony
      and in the face of our condescending youth.

                                 gallagher
                                 24 Dec 76

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1977-02-14 My funny valentine

Dennis — Mon, 14 Feb 1977 08:00:00 +0000


                    My funny valentine

         Endless days here in the haze
         looking out upon the gray
         and I can feel the strings that bind me
         beginning to slip away.

         Ah, I never thought I'd come to this
         watching my life trickle down...
         to here where my choices led me
         buying to chase the blues away.

         Corporate dreams, are now coming to me
         and I see how their webs can grow.
         Tying me down to possessions
         for what, I want to know?

         I've got a woman as true as they come
         and a son who needs my love
         but I've got dreams still raging in me
         that all their need can't stand.

                              gallagher
                              14 Feb 77

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1978-11-15

Dennis — Wed, 15 Nov 1978 08:00:00 +0000

My family’s wound envelopes me.
I feel Danny’s need … as I remember my own years …
in lucid moments between the running days I remember him
and wonder how I can feel so strongly
and do so little for love.

Everyone seems to live simpler lives than I
rootless man living off many lives
and not having one of my own to share or claim

I wait for history’s wheels to spew me out
frantically waiting on Godot and wisdom to find me…
… spoiled child … karmic wastrel

Five minutes with Rose on the phone in anger
and my family’s wound envelopes me….

gallagher
15 nov 78

1980-02-10

Dennis — Sun, 10 Feb 1980 08:00:00 +0000

        Of all the stars I wonder which
      one I like the most...
        and then I realize I can like
      them all...
            Daniel Gallagher
            02-10-80

1980-02-10

Dennis — Sun, 10 Feb 1980 08:02:00 +0000

      As I walk down the street
      I ask myself...
      How did it all start???
      How did life start???
      How did the world all start???
      What happened???
      I guess I will never know...
         Daniel Gallagher
         02-10-80/2