Nigel Terrett
   ‘I had it once and lost it’, he said, as we sat over lunch.
   And I said that, ‘I have it again, after loosing it…’
   and I wondered how to share it with him…what to say.
   WANT IT, my brother, like you’ve never wanted ANYTHING.
   want it until you would risk ridicule, insanity and death for it.
   Utterly want it, without reservation or doubt, for what are these
   but the fear that we’ll loose something of lesser value?
   Stake everything on it, on its existence…
   Your reason, your logic, your common sense, you dignity, your friends.
   If you want it utterly, they ALL must be at risk.
   Risk everything and KNOW that you are gambling
      know that you could loose
      know that you could be completely wrong about it
         and risk that too.
   Don’t think of it as a part time occupation that you do
   after the working hours and the family evenings are over
   Instead, see those moments as the grist
   that passes thru the mill of your life
      and you life as nothing but an impassioned search for it.
         and, in your passion, you will find it.
   And you will scare your family terribly
   and risk you livelihood and your sanity
   and you’ll feel insecurity rising around you
   like a creeping tide from hell
   and. many times, you won’t know
   if your’re falling over the edge of your sanity
      or stumbling into your rebirth…and it doesn’t matter.
   Go for it, utterly, all alone, without reservation
      what else is there?
                                    gallagher
                                    04 nov 83
                                    – good advice, wish I could keep it.

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —