SamadhiMuse

               Thoughts, imaginings, dreams
                  are just fantasies if not lived
                  or the whisper of a devil.
               The weeks and years I’ve struggled
                  to untie this knot
                  I cannot say.
               Fear and thrill, I
                  with such mortal stuff,
                  rail and speak with God
                  and try to see his hand
               to wrestle courage or madness
                  from this mess.
                  I’m all a twitter
               to do the work of God
                  I just can’t tell which voice
                     is his.
               …and perhaps I’ll switch
                     again.
                                 gallagher
                                    13 Feb 1988
                                    Big Bear Lake

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

Why do people look down on patriotism?
It’s because it shows a definite lack
of checking your own assumptions.
And things we believe in without doubting
are acts of faith or stubbornness.
               gallagher
               8 jun 88
               irvine

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

                    On the edge of the end
   We talked and talked.
   And, after she saw how much I cared, she held my hand
   and let that gentle inner spirit show in her eyes
   like I haven’t seen for days for all the tears and pain.
   And I said,
   It’s down to the fact that you can’t decide about me.
   It’s driving me crazy, my intellect says, ‘run’, she’s going
   to drop you, and my heart says, ’stop’, you love her too
   much to ever go.
   And, in the end, this was much of the reason
   for the pain I caused you.  My own insecurity.
   I said,
   the only way to go from here, if we try,
   is to redouble our efforts and ‘fight’ for our relationship.
   But if she’d had trouble committing before
   how about now after I’d trashed her feelings and love
   by my stupidity.
   And she agreed, it would take time to get by that.
   In the end I saw that I’d come to talk her out of
   walking away from me forever and into a new try at
   making it together.  And she said it was too far to go
   in too short a time given what I’d done and she’d felt.
   She said the fact that we could talk at all was a lot.
   So we were at impasse again.  Me wanting to begin our
   relationship with new commitment and her wanting time.
   I said to her,
   You own me something…
   You own me a decision in some reasonable amout of time.
   It makes me crazy to love you and not know if we’re
   joining or parting.
   And she said,
   after all you’ve done to my heart, you owe me something.
   Some time.
   And so we left it….
                                     gallagher
                                       10 nov 88

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

                                    Priorities
      I said,
         if two people love each other
         and are in a consensus based releationship
         and one says to the other
         that ‘this’ thing is important to me
         then the other, out of love, would probably agree.
         and she agreed.
         Then all I’m saying is that I love you
         and that these things are VERY important to me.
         please don’t prevent me.
         and you’re saying
         and I love you, but don’t ask me
         to give up my right to prevent you
                              gallagher
                                 10 nov 88   #2

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

         So strange that she talks to me
         and gives me hope that this is not the end
         and suddenly the world’s axis finds itself
         and my stomach and mind reconcile.
         What power over us Love has.
                                 gallagher
                                    10 nov 88   #3

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

      If you breakup with someone you love it doesn’t just go away.

      It howls like the wind in a vacuum in the moments you’re alone.

      If you follow your heart your intellect will complain,

      and if you follow your mind your heart will complain

      and you will be unhappy.

                                       gallagher

                                       16 dec 88

                                       newport beach

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —