An uneasy anxiety hangs over me me…the hours braced against some unknown
have I lived too hard this week…too many nights short of sleep
have they left my emotions off center?
Too much food, love, and coffee…too little sleep and alone time
and the running I’ve not done…what have I gained for these excesses?
Kathy’s leaving Nichols has driven us closer to where I’ve waited for months.
We each hold each other to prevent the dividing…without hope or sense
so tonight I’m here empty…anxious…feeling small and torn of soul
Helen, ripped from my page by some greater censor…
leaving silence in her wake
fills me with confused thoughts between the pandemonium.
I don’t love her without reserve, but I do love her…
I know I play my own game to win
but how could she leave me such silence after our struggles?
I sense disassembly waiting in these next days…fall from flight
I sense a new beginning & ending…grace gone for a walk
I sense some wish of mine becoming, somehow, and very different
from what I’ve intended…confused spiritualist and egotist
is it no wonder I love life
when I’m not beating myself to death with it?
gallagher
oct 07, 78
— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
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