I don't think I'll ever let anyone know
how closely madness came to claiming me this winter.
Murderous thoughts have been my unrelenting companions
on many nights as I've thought of how
to hurt those who have so hurt me.
One night, I lay tortured; one moment asking for the light of the highest good,
and the next with visions of murder raging in me
back and forth until I rose at dawn exhausted.
I fear these bouts. I fear that one day, pushed too far,
I will simply rise and depart from sanity and responsibility,
and make true my claim,
that I do not, in the final event,
respect the law, if it cannot redress my complaints.
In my thoughts, there is no force in the law that can save someone,
from another who thinks that the law and redress
belong to him and his Karma.
He that has a deadly aim to not be undone and bereft,
while he still has breath and choice.
Where this leads, I know not.
I just know my pain is near an edge and I have trouble seeing why
those who have done me so ill should not taste of that same well.
gallagher
31Aug2011
— Copyright 1965-2011 by Dennis Gallagher —