Archive for June, 1975

1975-06-02

Monday, June 2nd, 1975
      She's a woman and I'm just a scared boy
        its something we hid from a long time
      in my Texas khakis and California sandals
        and her tupperware and sewing patterns.
      I wanted more, somehow...
        maybe I knew I was fooling myself
      so now, while she takes her lovers casually and waits for me
        I sit alone in empty rooms
      or laugh too loud
        with my new friends.
      She holds me on weekends, patiently
        she knows I'm slow to learn
      and then, when she's filled me up again with love,
        she sends me out to play again
      in the world of my fantasy and fears
        my little boy dreams.
      She waits for the man she sees in me,
        behind the boy, I think,
      to learn to see the woman in her
        behind the mother.
                                    gallagher
                                    2 jun 75

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1975-06-05 Leaving for Colorado

Thursday, June 5th, 1975
                          Leaving for Colorado

      Brink bound feeling, this, the empty clutching
        I write, filled... to empty myself of my experience
      dangerous games, these, I play with my love and sanity.

      The gray sky awaits me beyond the roof tops
        and I wait for synchronicity or sanity or hope to begin
           before I leave for Colorado.

      I'm rejecting my humanness, somehow, with these experiments
        and it's overwhelming me
           I'm NOT free of love and love's need.

      Did I begin too soon? ...am I too weak...
        dead questions, dead
      its all as it must be, these days will play their parts
        in my education like all the rest.

      I'm pleased you share my experiences, Rose
        I can't say it with words but with my sad heart
      and that full up lump in my throat that
        recalls for me, so clearly, your place in my dance.

                               gallagher
                               5 jun 75
                               - departing to see Ron in Colorado

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1975-06-09

Monday, June 9th, 1975
         The old house,
           Ron's wedding pictures showed.
           Those rooms filled with friends, Rose... Rose
         shining straight hair and wedding joys
           suffused her face and filled my heart
             with memories sad and distant.
         Clinging, aching, with eyes watering I gazed
           on this view of other times and places.
         My heart aches, wrongly, for those rooms now
           mostly for those times and Rose's light
             which I see here in each frame.
                              gallagher
                              9 jun 75
                              Villa Grove, Colorado

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —