Archive for October, 1983


Monday, October 3rd, 1983

My moods come swinging harder
more brutal between the good places
eye fogged anxious days
women who turn me like a card in solitaire

Hours that wait like wounds
and demand confrontation, wine or madness

I still hear Bhagwan and the Sufi’s
still remember Monika and Nirala
I can still see Danny and Chris’ and Rose’s eyes
but here, where my moments are mine
I come down to some line
some deeper pressing reality

Women and wine used to save me from confrontation
but wine can kill me, as it did my mother
and women; women find me less these days
through the filters of age, affluence, and truth

so we come down to it: mood slugging and slogging
aerobics and smiles, sweat and hedonism
balanced against karmic mirrors
like Adelle, the psychedelic pharmacist
and Kathi M., the Jewish-American business woman/wife
and Maria, the waitress
and Lorrie, the aerobics instructor

I can offer no one anything and I go upset
from each meeting where they tell me so.

03 oct 83 – Orangetree

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —


Wednesday, October 5th, 1983

Sometimes I think moods are born of events
and sometimes of biochemistry and genetics
and from one theory to the other I’ve bounced
analyzing, watching, trying to see which it is
so I can either turn off the swings
or know that it’s not within my power

but I’m beginning to come to a third way…

let them come…from where they will
no more will I bargain, give in or resist
I wish to just accept, hands down, unresisting

to find the good and the bad
equally a part of my life
this perfection that Bhagwan describes
and which I see so imperfectly

05 oct 83 – Irvine Club

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —


Monday, October 17th, 1983

So I learn to wait
like the trees that grow and wave in the wind
endless now, sometimes I can, sometimes not.

I feel myself stir.
can’t be real unless something’s happening
a woman, people, travel…distractions all
pleasant enough when they come for free
but much too costly when I seek them

So I learn to wait
feel this moment on my skin
without the cage of acceptable conditions.
just this one, whatever it is.

17 oct 83

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —