SamadhiMuse

      My moods come swinging harder
         more brutal between the good places
      eye fogged anxious days
         women who turn me like a card in solitaire
      Hours that wait like wounds
         and demand confrontation, wine or madness
      I still hear Bhagwan and the Sufi’s
         still remember Monika and Nirala
      I can still see Danny and Chris’ and Rose’s eyes
         but here, where my moments are mine
      I come down to some line
         some deeper pressing reality
      Women and wine used to save me from confrontation
         but wine can kill me, as it did my mother
      and women; women find me less these days
         through the filters of age, affluence, and truth
      so we come down to it: mood slugging and slogging
         aerobics and smiles, sweat and hedonism
      balanced against karmic mirrors
         like Adelle, the psychedelic pharmacist
         and Kathi M., the Jewish-American business woman/wife
         and Maria, the waitress
         and Lorrie, the aerobics instructor
      I can offer no one anything and I go upset
         from each meeting where they tell me so.
                                 gallagher
                                 03 oct 83 – Orangetree

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

            Sometimes I think moods are born of events
            and sometimes of biochemistry and genetics
            and from one theory to the other I’ve bounced
            analyzing, watching, trying to see which it is
            so I can either turn off the swings
            or know that it’s not within my power
            but I’m beginning to come to a third way…
            let them come…from where they will
            no more will I bargain, give in or resist
            I wish to just accept, hands down, unresisting
            to find the good and the bad
            equally a part of my life
            this perfection that Bhagwan describes
            and which I see so imperfectly
                                 gallagher
                                 05 oct 83 – Irvine Club

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

         So I learn to wait
            like the trees that grow and wave in the wind
         endless now, sometimes I can, sometimes not.
         I feel myself stir.
            can’t be real unless something’s happening
         a woman, people, travel…distractions all
            pleasant enough when they come for free
               but much too costly when I seek them
         So I learn to wait
            feel this moment on my skin
            without the cage of acceptable conditions.
         just this one, whatever it is.
                                    gallagher
                                    17 oct 83
                                    irvine

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —