Archive for April, 2008

2008-04-22 – Dreaming of my sons

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

This morning, I returned from Starbucks and the house was quiet
so I lay down in the bed in the guest room and gathered the pillows against me.
I found myself dreaming of my older son, Dan, and he was small, perhaps five.
He was standing on a stool and we were talking about something together
and, in a moment of my inattention, he toppled off and fell on the floor.
I picked him up scared that he was hurt and stood him on the stool again
and held him checking to see if he was OK.
I whispered to him that he was brave and that he was my very special son
and how very much I loved him and always would.
I told him he was growing up so fast and that soon he'd be 17
and grown into a man and that this time of ours was so precious
and I hugged him against me.

And then, as so many times before, I awoke surprised and saddened
to find myself decades into the future.

The smell of his hair, the fineness of his skin, the trust in his eyes,
the warmth of holding him and the simple and profound love of that moment
were still there, as a warmth, filling me - though he's grown now and almost 40.

I've had this dream, or something very similar, many times about both my boys.
Always the love, the the treasuring - and then the awaking and the sadness.

I treasure these secret up wellings of my heart's past,
these deep emotional memories that bind me to these boys - now men.

I would call them and tell them what I dreamt, but I fear they'd think me
an emotional old man having a maudlin moment in the midst of their busy lives.

So, I'll leave these words here in my collection of poetry and thoughts
and, perhaps, someday they will find them and share this moment with me, then.

A moment so very precious and present to me now
and yet so very lost and ephemeral in the curtains of time.

                                                 gallagher
                                                 22 Apr 08

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —