SamadhiMuse

            Winter always comes.
            Dan told Sharon and me about he and Tiffany
            and my heart ached for him.
            His first love and pain and loss
            and I doubt I’ve learned much
            20 years on.
            Outside, rain and gray skies.
            Inside, somewhere, Joan receeds with a slow ache
            and Sharon acends.
            Softness and steel, enlightenment and caution.
            My futures murmuring … ‘89 finds me
            unfocused and unsettled
            falling in love with a moving target.
            She calls out the best in me
            but, sometimes, I just want her to hold me
            and, sometimes, she does.
                                 gallagher
                                 4 jan 89
                                 san juan capistrano
                                 

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

               Buddha says that if we want something,
               we open ourselves to the possibility of disappointment
               and someone else said we get what we need.
               All that I know of women and karma and connectivity
               is far too simple for she who now stands before me.
               Companion, friend, lover, teacher
               big challenge …
               I cannot dominate her.  I cannot lie or hide from her.
               I cannot predict her or take her love and openhandedness
               for granted.
               And yet, she brings, gives, is
               everything I want, without barter.
               God, my friend, are you laughing there
               where chance and destiny are woven?
               Nicaragua, indeed entire continents, await.
               Wind in their trees and passion on my pages.
               She stands in front of me like elevator shafts
               and vertigo.
               God’s laughter is kind.
                                    gallagher
                                    6 jan 89
                                    san juan capistrano
                                    

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

                     I’m afraid to be alone
                     because my mother left me alone
                     so much.
                     Women are
                     not being alone.
                     I chose Joan
                     because I knew she would be
                     at least as addicted to me
                     as I to her
                     and after dealing with
                     open and unpredictable Lise
                     that was important.
                     I don’t doubt loving Sharon
                     but I’m afraid
                     because her lack of visible addiction
                     brings back memories and fear
                     of the pain Lise gave me
                     and of being alone.
                                 gallagher
                                 18 feb 89

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

      I understand why you and I work.
      We both wanted someone with our own level of intelligence
      and who would judge us based on our spiritual goals.
      That’s where we live.
      We could be with someone who judged us on grooming
      or business acumen but what good would that be for us?
      That you share the same spiritual goals is everything.
      The fact that so much else falls into place nicely
      is just gravy.
      And maybe it means we’re going to get the issue of relationships
      worked out this time and free and impower each other
      at the same time.
      If we, as two people, can get along
      then it gives us credibility
      if we turn our attention outward.
      And, the best part of all this
      is that I don’t know any reason why it can’t be so
      and it’s what I want.
                                    gallagher
                                    san juan capistrano
                                    25 feb 89
                                    

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

                        You go away
                        and I miss the touch of your skin
                        and the edge of your intelligence,
                        the pleasure of your sincerity.
                        But when you are gone
                        I reflect and read and exist
                        in the quiet spaces
                        and there are insights
                        and different contentments.
                        And as I seek for truth and light
                        you constantly come to mind
                        and I treasure these thoughts
                        even as I treasure your return.
                                       gallagher
                                       sjc
                                       27 feb 89
                                       

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

Opening

Just as this marriage will be only what we make of it, so this marriage ceremony is ours to shape and share with you today.

There is ceremony and there are the things of our hearts and both have their places here today.

And so we each want to say a little about what it is we are doing here today because, to us, our marriage is a public affirmation and commitment to that which has grown between us.

And we can think of no one we would rather share these affirmations with than you, our friends.

Guests

Brenda Araya
Mike Bryga
Carl Chapman and Denise
Dave Christensen
Christopher Gallagher
Daniel Gallagher
Kathey Goss
Susan de la Portia
Patricia Webster

- - -

Counterpoint

(these were our vows in addition to the pastor’s)

Sharon: That in marriage, we will become one in many ways. We will not erase ourselves as individuals, but we will each think of “us” before we think of “I”.

Dennis: That fidelity is a deep truth that has no limits to its domain. It includes thoughts and intents as well as actions. We pledge absolute fidelity to each other.

Sharon: That continuing growth and increasing spirituality are the cornerstones of our joint purpose here.

Dennis: That habits, assumptions, dogma and taking things for granted are all anathema to what we are about.

Sharon: That honesty and self-understanding are among the greatest gifts we can give each other.

Dennis: That we will not obligate or encumber the other in anyway without their knowledge and approval.

Sharon: That we will never interfere with the other’s growth or self-expression.

Dennis: That we are equal and free from all roles and social expectations with respect to our genders.

Sharon: That we shall constantly challenge our own belief systems in the hope of revealing better ones.

Dennis: That while we may not always agree, we will always seek to understand the truth, where ever it lies, as our highest goal. It matters not who is right or wrong on any issue, only that we find understanding.

Sharon: That in all decisions, we will ask, “Is it for the highest good of all concerned?”.

Dennis: That we will keep no secrets from each other or ourselves. Our hearts and minds are and will remain open books to each other.

Sharon: That in joining our knowledge and skills together, we become a whole greater than the sum of our individual parts.

Dennis: That we enter this marriage without reservations or doubts about either ourself or our partner.

- - -

(and then a poem I read aloud about Sharon - she didn’t know I was going to do this)

About Sharon

I never thought I would meet someone like Sharon.
And, even when I imagined a partner for myself,
my vision fell short of the realityI’ve realized she is.

Her intelligence and understanding are
more than a match for my own
and, like you, I can see only parts
of the wonder and complexity she is.

But there is one part of her, that for me,
shines brighter than all the rest
and that is her integrity.

She is like a bell that has been well cast;
she rings truth and clarity and honesty
in everything she does.

For me she is, and has been,
a challenge and a gift of immense proportions.
Her honesty has invited mine and
her clarity has broken through
the dark shadows of my past.

Because of what God has given me in her,
I once again have
the growing clarity and freedom and purpose
necessary to realize my best dreams.

Her truth and integrity in my life
have meant nothing less to me
than my own spiritual rebirth.

Amen.

Dennis
31 Dec 1989

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —