1978-08-12

I told her, “I am going to win.”
and I am.

If I have to run until I drop
and harden my eyes to only the visions I can handle
and if all my lovers depart me
and depression walks with its hand on my shoulder
I will win.

There’s no point otherwise, unless its to survive.
to run to exhaustion and work to absorption
and love to satiation and feel to utter permeation
do it all and survive as best I can.

I recall Joel’s “Zen sword of no sword.”
and my own, “Sanity at any cost.”
and I recall this afternoon’s rage and hurt,
so foolishly won, when I should have know better

I had nothing to gain but to pass some time
and so much to lose.

Next time, if I let myself in for pain,
it will be because the gain was worth the risk.
But…no matter, bold and considered, I will survive.

And, if love finds me short of some extreme,
I’ll give myself away again … willingly …
win or lose.

gallagher
12 aug, 78

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

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