Confused by our togetherness— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
I wander and wonder where we are …
passionate and capable lovers and good friends
we spend our time loving and larking
until I have to wonder how much I can love this girl
and still not feel I know her.
She’s deep and convoluted in layers of years
of personality projection and control
and the bitter reality of knowing that ultimately
we’re alone and looking out for number one.
She cares and she says so
and her smiles bear witness to it
from deep inside…but inside there,
its always her’s alone
I told her I loved her and it pleased her
and for a few hours there I saw her face revealed
without projections and mirrors.
neither boy nor girl; she was the root of herself
looking at me without her constructed personality
and personal boundaries
and I felt I’d never see her again in the old way
but the morning returned her self imposed exile
until, at last, the hours and contingencies
dragged her away from me.
gallagher
24 jul 78
about Vancouver and KA
Archive for 1978
1978-07-24
Monday, July 24th, 19781978-07-25
Tuesday, July 25th, 1978Let go your walls with me …— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
I can’t steal your soul or heart without cause
and, yet, as I ache to gain your inner thoughts
I know the time’s not right among your life’s details
I know, but I find it so hard to wait
and want together.
gallagher
25 jul 78
1978-07-25
Tuesday, July 25th, 1978Nothing to say … though I try— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
if I wrote her a letter
or myself a poem
what would I say?
That I love something about her?
That I ache from our sophisticated
lack of trust?
Its so confusing … I try so hard to resolve it
but there’s never enough to go on
with emotions high and she as complex as I
and much less thought out
or self understood
I wish it would simplify
and I wish we would learn some bottom line trust
and I know it’ll be difficult with us both so alike,
self-centered, used to winning.
I want to love, badly, but I won’t lose if I see it coming
I’m left waiting thru weeks and months
of ever closer and closer passages to what she thinks
until I want to shout ‘Open up..!’ … trust me
and yet, her time’s not right.
Her marriage unraveling…
her ego expressions of sexuality gaining wings…
her freedom beckoning…
They all cast me a ‘rebound man’
and both she and I can see it.
Nothing to say, though I try…
if i wrote her a letter…or myself a poem.
gallagher
25 jul 78