Archive for 1979

1979-01-13 January 13, 1979

Saturday, January 13th, 1979
                                               January 13, 1979
           I think of them both tonight -- their lives entwined about
      their wives.  I love them both so much it seems I am the only
      one in their dreams.
           Ted says he loves me but you see he goes home to Linda not
      with me.  But, the precious moments spent with me makes my
      spirit so happy and free.  The love we share can't be denied
      even though my emptiness is so hard to hide.  When we go our
      separate ways, I wish so much, so much to stay.
           Dennis, too, is in my heart but he and Rose are not far
      apart.  He shares his life with others too, and seeing him
      sometimes makes me blue.  I try to hide this love I feel but
      Dennis knows I'm very real.
           Ernie and I are worlds apart -- my husband, once lover and
      sweetheart.  Our friendship is but a fading light of what once
      seemed so beautiful and bright.
           I search for someone to be kind, caring, sharing and ALL
      mine!
           I ache inside because my hurt carries me beyond this earth.
           It seems I'm destined to be alone without a man to call my
      own.
           The single life that lays ahead holds nothing for me --
      only dread.
           I need so much to be a part of someone's life and
      someone's heart.
           Very soon these lonely days will seem little more than a
      cloud of haze and I'll soon forget these nights -- so lone --
      without someone to cheer me on.
           Yes, that perfect peace will be, coming on to set me free.
       Free from burdens hard to bear.  Free my sorrow, shame,
      despair.
           Someday my body, mind and soul will lead me beyond this
      hollow hole and I will be bound together so tight with that
      special one so right.
                                 Kathleen
                                    A.
                                       Hatley

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1979-01-19

Friday, January 19th, 1979

How quickly it changes; King to criminal, secure to agonized.
And isn’t it always at the nodes, crosscurrents, upwellings,
that our choices are given?

God lovingly laughs at us when we feel secure
and mocks us gently as he weaves events to take our certainty down.
The golden ring passes so close, you smile…
and then, like a advertisement for humility, it changes.
Stomach gripping sinking feeling – run over again by life.

Rose calls and says she can go to Houston…
Why she tells me, what she wants, she can’t explain.
Maybe she called just to let me know I could be in for a jolt,
maybe she called to see if I really care….

Midway to reconciliation… torn by love and freedom,
I’ve hung poised and optimistic, knowing, this time,
it could turn out all right.
Its out of my hands… Houston’s distance will leave us unrepaired.
Houston’s miles of letters could kill our long affair.

Waiting is…. painful, powerless … integrity testing …
a brush with the end of love.

gallagher
19 Jan 1979

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1979-01-19

Friday, January 19th, 1979

Helen wings her way to me.
Rose and I lay in disrepair.
Insanity grows, the peaceful feeling goes.

Today someone asked me why I was always so happy,
I must be very resilient.

The ground moves, neon glows, abstractions and anxiety.
These days spin, I’m split… die or heal, I beg.

“Come, life.”, I said, “Show me everything.”
Such blatant mockery… supreme tests for me.
I rise agonized to each dance, and call them on….

Houston… does it matter, was I only dreaming?
I used to know, only months ago…
that I could, would, survive.
And now I agonize over love’s loss again.
A little Vodka… the time goes.
God knows, I don’t.

gallagher
19 January 1979

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —