Archive for 1983

1983-11-03 LAX and Chris

Thursday, November 3rd, 1983

LAX and Chris

Little people holding big people’s hands
hands wading through a sea of faces…
so vulnerable, so precious.

I imagine him here
and a cherishing feeling sweeps through me.

gallagher
03 nov 83
– on my way to Vancouver


— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1983-11-04 Nigel Terrett

Friday, November 4th, 1983

Nigel Terrett

‘I had it once and lost it’, he said, as we sat over lunch.
And I said that, ‘I have it again, after loosing it…’
and I wondered how to share it with him…what to say.

WANT IT, my brother, like you’ve never wanted ANYTHING.
want it until you would risk ridicule, insanity and death for it.
Utterly want it, without reservation or doubt, for what are these
but the fear that we’ll loose something of lesser value?
Stake everything on it, on its existence…
Your reason, your logic, your common sense, you dignity, your friends.

If you want it utterly, they ALL must be at risk.
Risk everything and KNOW that you are gambling
know that you could loose
know that you could be completely wrong about it
and risk that too.

Don’t think of it as a part time occupation that you do
after the working hours and the family evenings are over
Instead, see those moments as the grist
that passes thru the mill of your life
and you life as nothing but an impassioned search for it.
and, in your passion, you will find it.

And you will scare your family terribly
and risk you livelihood and your sanity
and you’ll feel insecurity rising around you
like a creeping tide from hell
and. many times, you won’t know
if your’re falling over the edge of your sanity
or stumbling into your rebirth…and it doesn’t matter.

Go for it, utterly, all alone, without reservation
what else is there?

gallagher
04 nov 83
– good advice, wish I could keep it.


— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1983-11-10

Thursday, November 10th, 1983

I called Helen K. today
and said I wanted to say goodbye
that just friends after what we had been
was not something I could do

It wasn’t bitter or argumentative;
as ever she meets me softly but head on.
we talked about us…what we had been
and why it had been so good…

That we could descent into utter passion
and yet operate with flawless logic
that we never fell into the emotion traps
that wait for lovers who aren’t friends

The afternoon in Palos Verdes when we last made love
in a field of waving grass and warm sunlight
of letters and poems written and destroyed
of consciousness and age, of lifetime friends…and now

gallagher
10 Nov 83


— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —