I look at Dan’s picture…— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
he rises straight and strong
like a young tree;
full of the sap of life,
he laughs at the winds
and rain of life.
He has our love and the Lord’s,
and he has his dreams
and a world he’s born new into.
Strength and joy and optimism
in unbounded proportions
fill him.
gallagher
27 Nov 85
1985-11-27
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1985-11-27
November 27th, Wednesday…— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
But, what year, what heart and mind…
Same sun, same rain and puddles
same hair in the sink and rumpled sheets.
Some watershed passed. something gone forever by.
The arching sky hangs timeless
over these moments and those.
Commerce and cars, newspapers, morning coffee
my hair combed and washed
I go to work.
She says I needed her, that I was flying too high.
We look at each other now and agree;
we are much the same;
we each fear the other for their past
for their mistakes and their selfcenteredness.
We each love for the pleasure it brings us.
Passion and ego, scars and cautions,
too many years running wild or scared.
Something could come of this…
but the traffic under that empty sky won’t stop
the moments press
we are watching reflections of ourselves in each other
our emotions and perceptions ebb and flow around us
we speak at different distances
through passion and wind and rain
through fears and memories.
We’ve pulled back inside
but our actions show the love, as before.
The air, between us, fairly hums
with the shocks of last week
and we are reforming ourselves
both alone, and as ‘us’.
And both of us are wondering if ‘we’ve’ survived
even as we love.
gallagher
27 Nov 85
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1985-11-27
Sadness, like slow rain— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
that waits in my path.
Working, …thoughts intrude…
Softly, whispering, “Everything’s different”
I feel clouds, somewhere.
I’m so tired of these storms.
I don’t want to hurt Rose anymore
and I want to trust Lise.
I don’t want to lose my optimism about love
and I want to feel like I can win at life.
The Buddhists say that we can NEVER be free
so long as we care how things are.
I’m trying to work through this and accept it
with open hands and heart.
But the truth is I’ve been knocked down
and have crawled through most of it
crying and clutching at my reflections in Lise.
God, give me the strength to find my center
in all of this.
The strength to be compassionate and considerate of Rose
and loving and accepting of Lise, without fear.
And the possession to ‘own’ myself.
I’ve called on you, Lord, to weather me
in the lightning of your world’s experiences.
Now I pray for the strength to meet you gifts.
Help free me, Lord,
from these addictive and heroic poses
and my perceptions of people as objects.
I want to find what lies below all this,
the bedrock below the storm,
I want to love without this need.
gallagher
27 Nov 85
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1985-11-27
My thoughts run and gibber,— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
my moods are swinging until I’m dizzy.
‘Time will heal all this’, I say to myself,
Just wait a bit….’
I talk to Lise and it’s the same with her;
mood swings, feelings in a riot, confusion.
Why am I so insecure?
Do I believe she’s not done with Anthony?
Do I think she’s not as confused as I?
Do I sense a future of more shocks?
She scares me when she says she scares herself
because she doesn’t know what she’ll do.
I have to admire her honesty in this, though.
I’ve been where she is with others
and I’ve been less than honest.
I can’t decide if this insecurity
is reasonable or not.
She has given me every reason to doubt her
…and has been unwaveringly honest.
I remember the women who’ve loved me
and I remember
my stainless steel honesties with them
and how
I drew their love
like a moth to the flame.
gallagher
27 Nov 85