How narrow … how very narrow
the windows we must pass
to gain enlightenment
and how hard and unrelenting
the obstacles.
I remember the first time I dropped acid;
how deeply surprised I was
to find there was not observer
to watch the effects
but only I, lost in the storm.
And now, so hard on the edge
of new growth or destruction,
there is no one but myself
with every nightmare and insecurity
this material world can unleash.
I discover that this ‘I’ that I am
is a cardboard man
made mostly of how others see me
and that my sense of worth and purpose
is inextricable from their regard.
In some moments I’m sure I’ll survive…
and, in others, my despair verges on suicide.
Somewhere Jesus said that it would be easier
to pass a camel through the eye of a needle
than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God.
I’ve been rich too long….
Cocky and arrogant, as Lise said,
so sure that my success was
a function of right action.
But now I’ve come to the eye of the needle
and most of ‘me’ cannot pass.
gallagher
03 Dec 85
— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 3rd, 1985 at 00:00 and is filed under 1985. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.