SamadhiMuse

              So, today, I played the French tape Lise gave me.
         Months ago I put it away, too painful to confront.  I
         remember her telling me what every song said and how
         she loved the singers and the love stories there.  But,
         now, after time has passed, I listen and memories
         trigger, poignant and distant, as rich as the passion
         and feelings we had then when I was riding for such a
         fall.  And now the sunlight pours in these March
         windows as I sit transfixed by October memories and my
         life is new again.  That she marked me was never at
         issue.  Though my survival, when she left, was.  She
         was the first to open my heart and bring me full out
         into the world of love and risk, of feeling and of
         passion and pain.  Everything is new now because of
         her.  I feel and I risk.  I’ve cleared old debts and
         compromises.  I’m learning now to deal with one woman
         at a time.  To give what I want in honesty and
         commitments.  I see now that love’s moment is now,
         feelings are immediate things and that all my old
         compromises were just my intellect and cautions
         overlaying my love with saftey nets.  So the sunlight
         pours in here and I wonder; should I call Lise and
         thank her and send her these thoughts or should I call
         Joan and tell her I love her.  A strange mix of sadness
         and joy here as my memories empty and my heart fills
         and the music plays.
                                    gallagher
                                    25 Mar 86
         – a 1st attempt at prose with poetic feelings driving
         it.

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —