SamadhiMuse

         To: Dennis Gallagher
         So much to tell you
         Dear Diary
         And yet --- My life runs in circles
         and spirals
         Sometimes forwards
         Sometimes at a standstill
         OH TIME: tell me
         Is it yet?
         Is he the ONE
         With whom I can settle?
         Put down more roots?
         Here is a woman
         Vital and loving
         Who will want her children?
         To spend TIME with.
         The gamble is the mystery
         and the solution is
               LIFE
                     Helen O'flarety
                     29 aug, 78

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

               Coping with my disease
                  is hard enough for me alone
               yet I seem to inflict my pain
                  on others who don't deserve it.
               Sitting up in the middle of the night,
                  trying desperately to sort me out
               is an exhausting process.
                  Even medication cannot keep me forever.
               He sleeps in there - I can't disturb him
                  God, -  will you hold my hand
               through this night?
                  can you tell me about my tomorrows?
               Why is just living hard for me?
                  I am at the border of society
               always peeking in but never "normal"
                  he calls me hyper and wild.
               I have been reading his poetry.
                  He knows me well for such a short knowing:
               Am I that transparent.
                  Why, God, is change so difficult?
               These episodes of pain are wearying
                  why am I so reactive to events
               that in the perspective of time
                  are so insignificant?
                                 Helen O'flarety
                                 September 17, 78
                                 written at my apartment

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —