So all the confusion has come to this— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
that she lies sedated in some mental hospital
so beautiful…so intelligent…and incredibly, flawed.
Her house would’ve been too much tonight
to stay there with Sharon and Gary.
Every wall, every object saying,
‘she saw me as clearly as you,
she ordered me, she arranged me, she cared for me…’
I helped in her disassembly…for all her intelligence,
she just wasn’t made for for normal human stresses.
I was going to be strong, conservative, fight for my needs.
But hers, so immediate, just pushed her over some edge
when they were not immediately fulfilled
God, I ache for her…I love her
the part that was unflawed
was more than anyone I’ve known.
gallagher
september 01, 78
Archive for the ‘Helen O.’ Category
1978-09-01
Friday, September 1st, 19781978-09-03
Sunday, September 3rd, 1978 Dreams of the Shaman again tonight
power for the giving
I preserve my dreams against the tide
but what of the people in my life?
Do I toy with them so cruelly
I don't want to ... I just want to grow
as big as my dreams ... or fall trying.
She asked me to leave these many months
and now she'd call me due
but I won't give into these old ways.
I ache inside for her need
but mine runs a deeper course
and tonight ... I hear Helen on the wind
and all my questions tensed
before realities brief facades.
Sanity or no, convention or not,
is it a space I can live with?
And will her need
give me the time to find out.
gallagher
03 september 78 - LSD
references to Helen O'flarity
— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
1978-09-03
Sunday, September 3rd, 1978 The tides in my life are rolling
these days begin to focus their force on me
rebirth again...just as I've called for it...again and again.
The easy paths always divide
and I'm forced to choose, forced to focus, forced to endure
where two weeks ago I had it all
today, I'm looking at chaos and confusion.
Rose wants me to come back
Helen's in a mental hospital
and the other three are stepping away for another look.
I want to hold on the to clarity of my gut visions
but they're so easily lost
personalities, priority conflicts, needs, finite energy
I'm small against my history, today.
I know I'm going to take a ride
through my doubts and fears to some other side.
If you would, love me, life.
help me through to the other side...intact
with all my love and my freedom...and all my dreams.
gallagher
03 Sep 78
— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —