So, today, I played the French tape Lise gave me.— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
Months ago I put it away, too painful to confront. I
remember her telling me what every song said and how
she loved the singers and the love stories there. But,
now, after time has passed, I listen and memories
trigger, poignant and distant, as rich as the passion
and feelings we had then when I was riding for such a
fall. And now the sunlight pours in these March
windows as I sit transfixed by October memories and my
life is new again. That she marked me was never at
issue. Though my survival, when she left, was. She
was the first to open my heart and bring me full out
into the world of love and risk, of feeling and of
passion and pain. Everything is new now because of
her. I feel and I risk. I’ve cleared old debts and
compromises. I’m learning now to deal with one woman
at a time. To give what I want in honesty and
commitments. I see now that love’s moment is now,
feelings are immediate things and that all my old
compromises were just my intellect and cautions
overlaying my love with saftey nets. So the sunlight
pours in here and I wonder; should I call Lise and
thank her and send her these thoughts or should I call
Joan and tell her I love her. A strange mix of sadness
and joy here as my memories empty and my heart fills
and the music plays.
gallagher
25 Mar 86
– a 1st attempt at prose with poetic feelings driving
it.
Archive for the ‘Joan’ Category
1986-03-25
Tuesday, March 25th, 19861986-03-29 Joan – March
Saturday, March 29th, 1986Joan – March Summer thunder – warm and moist Joan comes, is here, leaves. All my thoughts turn on these moments; love giving birth to itself in our eyes. Our minds follow, bemused at the changes. Hands and eyes, minds and hearts weaving… we talk, our fantasies on the edge of creation, our futures changing with every word. I’m not rational anymore. Slowly my priorities are sinking beneath her summer storm, warm rain of passion. I’m loosing track of time. Even now, after two hours, I wait filled with the ache of missing her and the joy that she will come again. gallagher 29 Mar 86 Irvine
— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
1986-03-31
Monday, March 31st, 1986 I like to look at you, absorbing
every detail
of your face; the look in your eyes,
the lines that form when you smile.
And in your voice
I hear warmth and clarity;
the expression from your soul
ringing to the world like a clear bell.
Apart, my thoughts fly back to you
I see your picture and your letter,
and I smile.
3/31 - 4/1/86
Joan
— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —