SamadhiMuse

      Twenty-seven, and what am I doing?
        To others I'm self-assured, but to myself
          I'm just a ragged mass of emotion and doubts.
      Twenty-seven, and nothing to show
        no money, no possessions, no security
          just inches away from being nothing and nobody.

      A few poems, some subjective knowledge
        and a wife that loves me like its the end of the world
          and what am I doing?  ...asking her to go
            so I can see if love is really necessary.

      I look at her and it hurts...
        suddenly I want houses and money and security for us
          not shoe-string lives, lived from paycheck to paycheck.
      I wonder how she could love me
        and I wonder how I could live without her
          and I wonder how I've tried so hard to do right
            and why I've done so little.

      I wonder how all my best dreams
        could have brought me here
          to where I'm twenty-seven
            and scared to death of what I'm doing.

                              gallagher
                              30 mar 75
                              CSULB

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

         Emptiness walks within me where she was
           and the days have become like months.

         Last night I went to her for rest
           but I lay open beside her to no avail.

         Something's gone, and I'm not sure what...
           some of it is my dominance of her,
         and some of it is the loss
           of my certainty of her regard,
         and some of it is my choice
           to avoid such rest stops,
         and some is my emotions
           blocking my vision of what it was
              that brought me here.

         It all will pass with time,
           says my reason,
              screams my mind....

                              gallagher
                              10 apr 75

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —