SamadhiMuse

         Somewhere we must balance the tendencies
           to trust and to distrust.
         Psychology has shown that adversive experience
           leaves a much deeper memory than positive experience.
         This makes sense from a survival point of view
           but it plays hell with human relationships.
         Too little trust will kill a relationship
           and too much can be self destructive.
         So once we’ve been hurt
           how do we find the balance again?
         How do we find the strength to be relaxed and secure
           and the wisdom and judgment
              to avoid another deep hurt?
                                 gallagher
                                 29 Nov 85

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

                        Lise
                  Top        small
                  Skirt      5
                  Pants      7
                  Shoes      7 1/2
                  Bra        32a
                  – note on Lise’s clothing sizes for Xmas

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

         On this rainy afternoon I went to see Lise
         with a strange and poignant feeling in my heart.
         I told her that there had been enough pain
         and enough hurt between us
         and that I had woken up from a long sleep
         trapped in bad dreams of maya and possession.
         She’d looked at me when I first came
         with a mixture of apprehensive and fear
         and I’d hugged her and told her
         I hadn’t come to hassle anymore
         so she made tea and we began to talk.
         I told her that how I’d been acting lately
         is not how I really am;
         that our love, so deep and strong,
         had taken me beyond anyplace I knew
         and that I had gotten lost in it,
         in the intensity and depth of it,
         and had forgotten who I was.
         But now, I said, I had awoken could see again.
         I said, “I love you and I want what’s best for you.”.
         And, in that timeless moment that our eyes
         always seem to find, I set her free of our love
         and all of its entanglements…
         there was more…
         the touching of hands, the joy of release,
         and the recognitions we both made
         seeing those moments unfold before us…between us.
         In her eyes I saw a deep amazement
         and then a feeling of compassion and love and gratitude
         that mixed there as richly as her passion’s warmth
         and in my heart I felt some burden lifted from me
         and I felt a deep love and peace towards her.
         There was a feeling of rightness about it;
         I felt that something very special
         had happened between us and it had freed us,
         had freed us to let our memories
         be as good as our love was…
         to let us be friends…
         to let her work out what her future with Anthony will be
         without the aching awareness of my pain
         and to let me believe again that love, properly held,
         can cut through any pain.
                                    gallagher
                                    02 Dec 85

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —