Talking to her eyes … I looked to find peace there— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
and to hold it to me to save me from life’s fears
Ah lady, … how can any of us love and have freedom, both?
insecurity and fear bay at every gate
and we’ll never find the line
between what we want and what can be agreed
but, for wonder, we talked about it … I holding her hand
and looking into her eyes to see the fears…
so rich to say it … life’s mysteries and paradoxes here, today
in this lady I love so …
so close and yet, … so far away
the same needs and the same fears of giving it all away.
gallagher
04 jul 78
Archive for the ‘People’ Category
1978-07-04
Tuesday, July 4th, 19781978-07-13
Thursday, July 13th, 1978I stopped to think about you
for just a moment….
Our hours
and your dark eyes
warmed me with a longing
as I mused.
You’re so far away and yet,
you’re so near….
Can it be your skin
I touched so
in our secret sheltered hours?
Somewhere, here,
among the efficient people
and the business forms
are you?
Do you breath? …
Are those your same eyes,
skin, hands, feelings
I felt?
Can you understand
why I think these things?
than no matter how many times
I press you to me and kiss your eyes
I will still wonder
if you’re for real….
when you are far away.
Dark eyes, come transfix me
and burn away my doubts.
Let me see your sun-seeds shining
and let me feel you
through these walls and floors.
I want it all,
everything
we can give or get….
gallagher
13 jul 78
— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
1978-07-17 – 1 –
Monday, July 17th, 1978– 1 –— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
It began when I shared my feeling that
seeing each other now for mere hours
seemed so much less than Palm Springs
or our Colorado trip
That we could not hit the same depths somehow now
and that the transition to this new place
seemed to rob our magic of some of its fire
just when I would wish to burnish it more
I said I’m not complaining but just sharing
and did it feel the same to her?…
it did, she said, and her voice and spirit
seemed to withdraw to somewhere inside of her
Then she said she was never sure how I felt when she had to leave
that it seemed as if I was always so logical, philosophical
and she wondered if I was really so
or if I hid my loss to protect her or myself somehow
and then the tangles began … semantics … and points of view
leaving … responsibility … resentments at being judged
needs … sharing … integrity … manipulation
these emotional magnetic riptides of needs unleashed
I said so long as I didn’t meddle with her decisions
by pressing my needs to her
that I could feel free of responsibility
for the problems and pain of her family
And she said she would not let herself be manipulated
and that she resented my prejudging her so
that my withholding my needs was a lack of trust in her
and she left my mind spinning as she equated
integrities independence with insecurities lack of trust.
I said what of the golden rule …
shouldn’t I do as I would have done?
and she said don’t do to me to meet YOUR needs
do to me to meet MINE and I’ll do the same for you
So is her need then that I should need her?
is it then that I should bear my feelings of responsibility
rather than dare to refuse to interfere?
What is all this … I just want to love someone
like me … free.
gallagher
7-17-78 – about Kathi K.
Long Beach