How quickly it changes; King to criminal, secure to agonized.— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
And isn’t it always at the nodes, crosscurrents, upwellings,
that our choices are given?
God lovingly laughs at us when we feel secure
and mocks us gently as he weaves events to take our certainty down.
The golden ring passes so close, you smile…
and then, like a advertisement for humility, it changes.
Stomach gripping sinking feeling – run over again by life.
Rose calls and says she can go to Houston…
Why she tells me, what she wants, she can’t explain.
Maybe she called just to let me know I could be in for a jolt,
maybe she called to see if I really care….
Midway to reconciliation… torn by love and freedom,
I’ve hung poised and optimistic, knowing, this time,
it could turn out all right.
Its out of my hands… Houston’s distance will leave us unrepaired.
Houston’s miles of letters could kill our long affair.
Waiting is…. painful, powerless … integrity testing …
a brush with the end of love.
gallagher
19 Jan 1979
Archive for the ‘Rose’ Category
1979-01-19
Friday, January 19th, 19791979-01-19
Friday, January 19th, 1979Helen wings her way to me.— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
Rose and I lay in disrepair.
Insanity grows, the peaceful feeling goes.
Today someone asked me why I was always so happy,
I must be very resilient.
The ground moves, neon glows, abstractions and anxiety.
These days spin, I’m split… die or heal, I beg.
“Come, life.”, I said, “Show me everything.”
Such blatant mockery… supreme tests for me.
I rise agonized to each dance, and call them on….
Houston… does it matter, was I only dreaming?
I used to know, only months ago…
that I could, would, survive.
And now I agonize over love’s loss again.
A little Vodka… the time goes.
God knows, I don’t.
gallagher
19 January 1979
1979-01-25 The divorce
Thursday, January 25th, 1979The divorce— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
So tell me how I’m supposed to feel…
this paper says ten years of marriage and love
are void and null.
Gone from life into history…
Texas…Mississippi…Washington…
Douglas…college…drugs…a son…
growing…tears…holding together late at night
struggling…pain…anger…needs…love.
The paper is pink…filed in some huge book
at the hall of justice
and we, just citizens again.
I feel naked and she’s some stranger.
It was so familiar…’My wife.’…she’s my wife, Rose,
no more.
I’m sad, my lady, after all our reasoning and logic
and all the times I said, ‘…just a paper….’
I’m still sad…if you had been home just now when I called
I would’ve told you so
my love … my … my ….
gallagher
25 January 1979