So, today, I played the French tape Lise gave me.— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
Months ago I put it away, too painful to confront. I
remember her telling me what every song said and how
she loved the singers and the love stories there. But,
now, after time has passed, I listen and memories
trigger, poignant and distant, as rich as the passion
and feelings we had then when I was riding for such a
fall. And now the sunlight pours in these March
windows as I sit transfixed by October memories and my
life is new again. That she marked me was never at
issue. Though my survival, when she left, was. She
was the first to open my heart and bring me full out
into the world of love and risk, of feeling and of
passion and pain. Everything is new now because of
her. I feel and I risk. I’ve cleared old debts and
compromises. I’m learning now to deal with one woman
at a time. To give what I want in honesty and
commitments. I see now that love’s moment is now,
feelings are immediate things and that all my old
compromises were just my intellect and cautions
overlaying my love with saftey nets. So the sunlight
pours in here and I wonder; should I call Lise and
thank her and send her these thoughts or should I call
Joan and tell her I love her. A strange mix of sadness
and joy here as my memories empty and my heart fills
and the music plays.
gallagher
25 Mar 86
– a 1st attempt at prose with poetic feelings driving
it.
Archive for the ‘Irvine’ Category
1986-03-25
Tuesday, March 25th, 19861986-03-29
Saturday, March 29th, 1986The light of burning bridges in every direction.— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
While a greater darkness gathers around me.
Fear crawls just beyond the fire’s light
and this stump of a torch is small comfort, indeed.
I hope I survive as well as Lise
for I’ve surely gone to the edge,
heart in hand, to jump.
gallagher
29 Mar 86
1986-03-31
Monday, March 31st, 1986 I like to look at you, absorbing
every detail
of your face; the look in your eyes,
the lines that form when you smile.
And in your voice
I hear warmth and clarity;
the expression from your soul
ringing to the world like a clear bell.
Apart, my thoughts fly back to you
I see your picture and your letter,
and I smile.
3/31 - 4/1/86
Joan
— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —