SamadhiMuse

           Tried so hard to go it alone
           but the strings just won't break
           that hold me to you, girl.
           Living alone and drinking wine to fall asleep
           I'm making it most times but then
           when I see you it all begins again.
           That old love's wound and comfort you send
           I just can't seem to fight it
           and I'm afraid I'm going to bend.
           Phone conversations where I just can't stand
           to hang up empty and broken again
           and have to wait to mend.
           I'm just not strong enough when I'm down
           to give it all away...
                                 gallagher
                                 31 may 75

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

      She's a woman and I'm just a scared boy
        its something we hid from a long time
      in my Texas khakis and California sandals
        and her tupperware and sewing patterns.
      I wanted more, somehow...
        maybe I knew I was fooling myself
      so now, while she takes her lovers casually and waits for me
        I sit alone in empty rooms
      or laugh too loud
        with my new friends.
      She holds me on weekends, patiently
        she knows I'm slow to learn
      and then, when she's filled me up again with love,
        she sends me out to play again
      in the world of my fantasy and fears
        my little boy dreams.
      She waits for the man she sees in me,
        behind the boy, I think,
      to learn to see the woman in her
        behind the mother.
                                    gallagher
                                    2 jun 75

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

                          Leaving for Colorado

      Brink bound feeling, this, the empty clutching
        I write, filled... to empty myself of my experience
      dangerous games, these, I play with my love and sanity.

      The gray sky awaits me beyond the roof tops
        and I wait for synchronicity or sanity or hope to begin
           before I leave for Colorado.

      I'm rejecting my humanness, somehow, with these experiments
        and it's overwhelming me
           I'm NOT free of love and love's need.

      Did I begin too soon? ...am I too weak...
        dead questions, dead
      its all as it must be, these days will play their parts
        in my education like all the rest.

      I'm pleased you share my experiences, Rose
        I can't say it with words but with my sad heart
      and that full up lump in my throat that
        recalls for me, so clearly, your place in my dance.

                               gallagher
                               5 jun 75
                               - departing to see Ron in Colorado

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —