An uneasy anxiety hangs over me me…the hours braced against some unknown— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
have I lived too hard this week…too many nights short of sleep
have they left my emotions off center?
Too much food, love, and coffee…too little sleep and alone time
and the running I’ve not done…what have I gained for these excesses?
Kathy’s leaving Nichols has driven us closer to where I’ve waited for months.
We each hold each other to prevent the dividing…without hope or sense
so tonight I’m here empty…anxious…feeling small and torn of soul
Helen, ripped from my page by some greater censor…
leaving silence in her wake
fills me with confused thoughts between the pandemonium.
I don’t love her without reserve, but I do love her…
I know I play my own game to win
but how could she leave me such silence after our struggles?
I sense disassembly waiting in these next days…fall from flight
I sense a new beginning & ending…grace gone for a walk
I sense some wish of mine becoming, somehow, and very different
from what I’ve intended…confused spiritualist and egotist
is it no wonder I love life
when I’m not beating myself to death with it?
gallagher
oct 07, 78
Archive for the ‘Places’ Category
1978-10-07
Saturday, October 7th, 19781978-10-09
Monday, October 9th, 1978Helen across the miles … on the wires— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
re-risen from where she’s gone … recognizable
her voice makes me feel love … memories
she says we’re not logical … it shouldn’t last
and she’s right, damn it!
This whip-snap girl who matches my every nuance
when she’s keeping it together
a flame who burns so bright she extinguishes herself
she shadows my every perception in her light
wistful…over the wires and the miles and the fields
needing her time to heal…and remembering our love
I feel so inexpressibly full … so full
when I want to hug her to hold her
and I’m holding nothing but the phone…
unable to empty, except to say, ‘I miss you, I care’.
Tender moment, balanced between need and decorum
wants and consideration, emotion and logic
pain and desire,
love… and loss … the phone’s plastic
and her voice in it.
and so we part with all that logic waiting in the future
and all these emotional months to come.
gallagher
9 oct 78
1978-10-12
Thursday, October 12th, 1978Why did I meet you?— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
now I wait wistful against the days
not quite as alive as I could be
You showed me, matched me, laughed with me
and if it was your insanity we shared
I guess I could be labeled so too
I liked it there where associations ran free
and every moment was hyper-electric
when you looked at me, I could feel it like a hand
Everything about you was velvet judo
I tire so often of half people
partial perceptions, conformers and half-thinkers
will I only find my match in someone like you?
full on with more than your slight frame can handle
romantic tragedy, intense spirit, over strained psyche
I’m spoiled now… I want only your kind
of freedom and devotion.
gallagher
12 oct 78