Something's changed in me and I wonder at it.
In these past months my emotions have come to the surface
and crying, which was always so hard for me,
now comes like a surge when I see something sad
or beautiful or deeply true or sincere,
Tonight, we watched a 1948 movie called "I Remember Mama"
and it was quite beautiful and poignant
and my tears came several times.
Somehow, my heart has opened.
Somehow, I am open to the beauty and sadness,
the cruelty and the kindness as I've never been before.
I have risked much before the Almighty
and poured myself out that we should be granted New Zealand Visas.
And I have trusted and also pledged to try sincerely
to accept whatever came as the will of All That Is.
I pray now and give thanks for all my blessings
and I genuinely see the hand of the beloved's compassion
in all that I've been given.
Somehow, all of this is connected.
The risk, the trust, the thankfulness and the desire to embrace
the highest good for all, even if it should override my wishes.
Though in the midst and even now, I wonder if I have such strength
but I know I want to.
I wish to embrace the Beloved's will and live that embrace
and my personal wishes as one seamless thing.
And somehow, though I don't understand, it is from these,
this fount of conjunctions, that my heart is cracked
and my tears of joy and sadness pour forth.
I am deeply grateful to come to this place
where life touches me deeper and deeper in these passing days.
gallagher
17 Mar 2006
— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —