MEDITATIONS
I resolve that the most important thing confronting me
is the task of becoming what I want to become.
I recognize that, when at brief moments, I become conscious,
I know what I want.
And that what I want is to retain this awareness
and there is no way to do this
short of wanting it more than anything else.
I want to become what I want when I am conscious.
I want to be the master of my physical body’s(mind’s) condition
within those limits that my age and genetic inheritance impose.
And if faith or will power
can gain me more than that
then I want that too.
My body (mind) is mine if I will claim it.
I want the manifestation of my consciousness
to become my conscious foreground
and the details of my life; its work, its involvements,
to become the background.
but its details must be executed to perfection
because my consciousness of their execution is a reflection
of my deeper commitment to conscious awareness
in all that I do.
It is not that I lack the ability to conceive what I want
in my moments of clarity.
It is more that I cannot maintain the awareness
of what I want.
I slip back into unconsciousness; physical gratifications,
into my unconscious animal reactions
to each moment’s passing stimuli.
Its not that I should deny my physical nature
but that I should experience it without lapse
of awareness of my deeper want…
to remain conscious.
04-09-80
Portland, Maine
— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —