3 sept 85— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
Dear Lord,
I begin, today, with prayer. In his sermon Sunday, Homer said
prayer is not a matter of quality but rather of quantity. I’m not
sure I believe that but he did get me thinking about prayer in
general. I’m asleep so much of the time. I remind myself
sporadically to wakeup and then, just as quickly, I’m asleep again.
What Homer helped me see is something I’ve seen before and then
forgotten. And that is that by setting aside some time each day to
speak to you I am helping myself to stay awake spiritually.
So, Lord, what will I say to you? That I want to commune with
you, whatever you are. That I want to open myself, through prayer
and in general, to those subtle urgings you may give me. I want to
spend a part of each day thus. I want this to become a continuous
thread of introspection and dialogue. I want to awaken spiritually
and become…. Become what ever it is that such awakening can lead
me to be. Speak to me, Lord. Speak through me, clean my eyes and
make me a deep pool of reflection and compassion. Waken me and help
me fulfill whatever purpose I may have.
I sit here now a bit sleepy as the day’s work begins. About to
plunge into the details and absorbtions of my work and life. Help me
do them well. Help me to will it so. And help me, when the hours of
absorption have claimed me, to awaken back to this deeper thread. I
want to connect these moments like an endless chain until they become
the ground against which my life’s details are painted.
gallagher
3 sept 85
– a prayer
Archive for the ‘1985’ Category
1985-09-03
Tuesday, September 3rd, 19851985-09-04
Wednesday, September 4th, 1985
The summer's gone to rain
the murmurs of water and leaf.
These gray skies and cool air
speak to me of my Vancouver winters.
Indonesia and Singapore and Canada
begin to loom behind the rain
and the ending of this unique summer.
The fear of loosing things
is with me, sometimes.
In the mirror, in my relationship with Lise,
in my job, in my son's years,
and in Rose's patience.
And I wonder if I was ever
stronger or weaker.
Before, I used to stare my fears down
with the promise of the future
but now I've lived, I'm waiting no longer to begin,
and I know the future as well as the past.
Now, when I confront my fears or the rain,
I can bring no illusions.
Now enlightenment is not an option
among my future dreams.
It waits for me like steel trap
behind each burning moment.
And it waits for me to arrive,
dead or alive.
gallagher
4 September 85
— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
1985-09-04
Wednesday, September 4th, 19859/4/85— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
Dear Lord,
How can this world be put together so that it contains all the
things I see? its all real but I can’t understand it. How can the
love I feel and the cruelty I see go together? When I look at the
people I love it is so soft and intense with compassion and feeling
… and yet, somewhere, many some wheres, this moment … people are
starving, are without hope, are imprisoned, … my spirit here,
inside my body, can feel no different than theirs … except that I
am here and they there. But if I let myself, Lord, for a moment go,
the doors gape open and I can be there and feel it, imagine it. And
I can’t understand how what I see and feel can be a part of the same
safe world where I hold a small boy’s hands and see the light on
someone’s face and ache with feeling. Do you want us to understand,
Lord? I will look if you do. Perhaps, underneath your apparent
contradictions lies some deeper pattern and compassion. Help me stay
awake that I might see if this is true. Help me see the truth, for
this world cannot be true as I see it now. And, I want the truth,
whatever it is.
gallagher
9/4/85
– a prayer