Archive for the ‘1985’ Category

1985-12-16 December 16, 1985

Monday, December 16th, 1985
                                                  December 16, 1985
                          Hi sweetie,
                 It was really nice to hear from you - It
         surprised me.  I had been wondering about you;  how
         you're managing, how everything is going, how things
         are at work, at home in Irvine, at Rose's, with Kathy
         etc ...  But I was waiting for you to give me the green
         light.  You have to do things your way. You're the one
         who sets the pace now as far as you and I stand.  I
         hope for friendship one day in the future.  in the
         meantime, I know it's rough for you.  Things could be
         worse you know.  I hope each day finds you a little
         stronger.  I hope you will meet a wonderful woman who
         will be ready for you, because by then you'll be ready
         too.  I hope a lot for you, babe.  And I hope you'll
         keep in touch when you feel like it, when it's right
         for you.  Hope to hear from you.  I'll write.
                                       Love,
                                          Lise

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1985-12-17

Tuesday, December 17th, 1985

5 am; I awake from an empty sleep
with my heart hammering.

2 months ago Lise and Rose both loved me
and I was agonizing over what to do…

This early morning hour
Rose lies with Jack
and Lise with Anthony
and I sit here, wondering still,
how it all came to be like this.

Addictions I could’ve never broken
these women …
I breathed their love
and saw through their eyes
and faced the world full
of their strength and affection.

Now, if I want either or both
I have to accept their other men,
kill my feelings down to where
its just casual fun,
drop the addictions
and simply love them without need
or that deep sharing
that always seems to lead
to addiction.

Gallagher
17 Dec 85
Tuscon, AZ

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1985-12-17

Tuesday, December 17th, 1985

Every dream, every obsession, every revenge
Every loving thought and every silence
sincerely begun
now come to visit me.

Carlos Castenada and Shirley MacLaine
give me relief from my twisting
with each of their views
of what lies beyond these immediate moments.

I’m close to the edge of my learning potential
and too close to the edge of my sanity.

Time, that moved so swiftly when I slept, in love,
now telescopes to a near stop …

Here, where these moments hang pregnant
with possible freedom or destruction,
here, where I squirm between emotional addiction
and my fear and longing for deep freedom,
here, where every moment hangs with powerful intent,
is the space between great sleeps.

And here, I am …

Gallagher
17 Dec 85
Tuscon, AZ

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —