On the edge of the end
We talked and talked.
And, after she saw how much I cared, she held my hand
and let that gentle inner spirit show in her eyes
like I haven’t seen for days for all the tears and pain.
And I said,
It’s down to the fact that you can’t decide about me.
It’s driving me crazy, my intellect says, ‘run’, she’s going
to drop you, and my heart says, ‘stop’, you love her too
much to ever go.
And, in the end, this was much of the reason
for the pain I caused you. My own insecurity.
I said,
the only way to go from here, if we try,
is to redouble our efforts and ‘fight’ for our relationship.
But if she’d had trouble committing before
how about now after I’d trashed her feelings and love
by my stupidity.
And she agreed, it would take time to get by that.
In the end I saw that I’d come to talk her out of
walking away from me forever and into a new try at
making it together. And she said it was too far to go
in too short a time given what I’d done and she’d felt.
She said the fact that we could talk at all was a lot.
So we were at impasse again. Me wanting to begin our
relationship with new commitment and her wanting time.
I said to her,
You own me something…
You own me a decision in some reasonable amout of time.
It makes me crazy to love you and not know if we’re
joining or parting.
And she said,
after all you’ve done to my heart, you owe me something.
Some time.
And so we left it….
gallagher
10 nov 88
— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —