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1975-03-28 A little drunk

Friday, March 28th, 1975 
                          A little drunk

         Been watching her, hoping it wasn't a paranoid dream
           been watching close cause it hurt so bad.
         It was hard to see, but since she went out,
           its not been the same with us.

         She takes me for granted now because she saw my pain
           she walks around me and fills the air
         with words of love
           but touches me with nothing.

         Tonight I thought to spend my time with her
           but she fell asleep on me
         tonight I bought wine for her
           but she fell asleep.

         I trust my sight and its clear what I see here
           she believes me in her power
             but my pride won't let it be.

         Let her go then, I say, to drink the night away
           and never fall asleep with someone else.
         I'm worth more than this, my pride is telling me.

           I'm worth more than this, its time to be free.

         I trust my sight and its plain to see
           that what she feels for me
             is not what I'd have it be.

                                 gallagher
                                 28 mar 75
                                 Buena Park

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

Posted in 1975, Buena Park, Rose | No Comments »

1975-03-28

Friday, March 28th, 1975 
               Hard times, these
               no up or down...
               nothing but the dull ache
               of security lost and freedom found.

               All my dreams are withered
               in the arc light of pain and depression;
               the slow progression of days
               grinding by, one at a time.

               I can't relax
               because it's going to get worse
               and I wish it would get to the worst
               because it'll get better after that.

                                 gallagher
                                 28 mar 75

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

Posted in 1975, Long Beach | No Comments »

1975-03-30

Sunday, March 30th, 1975 
      Twenty-seven, and what am I doing?
        To others I'm self-assured, but to myself
          I'm just a ragged mass of emotion and doubts.
      Twenty-seven, and nothing to show
        no money, no possessions, no security
          just inches away from being nothing and nobody.

      A few poems, some subjective knowledge
        and a wife that loves me like its the end of the world
          and what am I doing?  ...asking her to go
            so I can see if love is really necessary.

      I look at her and it hurts...
        suddenly I want houses and money and security for us
          not shoe-string lives, lived from paycheck to paycheck.
      I wonder how she could love me
        and I wonder how I could live without her
          and I wonder how I've tried so hard to do right
            and why I've done so little.

      I wonder how all my best dreams
        could have brought me here
          to where I'm twenty-seven
            and scared to death of what I'm doing.

                              gallagher
                              30 mar 75
                              CSULB

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

Posted in 1975, Long Beach, Rose | No Comments »

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