I’m lost in a jungle of Karmic comebacks— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
and pain.
Like multiple windows I watch and move through
several stories in these shattered months
of November and December …
Was I too weak, too strong, too honest or too
dishonest?
Am I reaping what I’ve sowed as punishment
or is God helping me to the freedom I need to grow?
I believe he wouldn’t give me more than I could handle
but I temper this with recognition of what
He thinks possible.
After all, He calls many of us to face our deaths
knowingly.
Nothing I have could escape Him if He wished it;
health, sanity, love, family … and life itself.
gallagher
23 Dec 85
Archive for the ‘1985’ Category
1985-12-23
Monday, December 23rd, 19851985-12-29
Sunday, December 29th, 1985Kathy’s love and friendship— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
helped me to see
that the deepest problem here
is our emotional insecurities.
It cuts through the heart
of everything else.
It is the stage
upon which we stand
imagining we are free.
This world … so full of activity
is so full of lies ….
The truth is … we don’t want
to be alone
and … we don’t want to die.
Everything else
just a furious dance
to cloud the issue
and to deny the ever present
potential for pain
and annihilation here.
gallagher
29 dec 85
1985-12-29
Sunday, December 29th, 1985Last night I went to the restaurant— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
to see Lise again.
With some cocaine courage
and Kathy’s company waiting for me
I went once more to confront
what was ending between us.
And it ended, finally….
As it had to; from her side.
She and Anthony
made commitments in Mexico over Christmas
and so, my fears and strengths
and tolerances
no longer enter into it.
I have nothing to try to handle…
anymore.
She thought she would make it into 1986
in my poetry.
Perhaps… we’re two days short…
she may be a footnote.
This thing has finally ended
and I’m grateful.
gallagher
29 dec 85