The concert continues … the players rearrange themselves— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
careful not to lose your identity as the roles change
what you are must be independent of who you’re with
or you can lose yourself if they leave.
The evening allowed me my time alone
the music, the running, the book by Irwin Shaw
that Kathy gave me … I think on every page…she read this.
I’m thirty … is it so bad … I love … am loved
if someone comes, stays or leaves … is it so bad?
can it be so bad if I am constant, if I can resist
the maddening urge to ‘need’ love in order to feel OK
resist the urge to invest myself
at the first sign of acceptance from another.
Just love them as they are, as they come…
am I a coward … Kathi said I hedge my bets
but she says this from inside a marriage
I just don’t know … I’ll invest all I can
without losing myself or my beliefs
and if its too hard, I’ll pull back.
I cannot do better
win or lose
and so the concert continues….
gallagher
11 september 78
Archive for the ‘Years’ Category
1978-09-11
Monday, September 11th, 19781978-09-12
Tuesday, September 12th, 1978Sometimes I wonder if I’m ever going to rest— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
life keeps building up, relentless pressing tests
your heart, your mind, your patience all at war
until … my feeling mount and I want to cry, ‘No more!’
I know (believe) there is a why though I can barely hold the thread
to gather from this chaos the one, the essential thing
I need to learn to exist all on my own
my views and mind intact, my integrity gone full ring
to bear pain without destruction and feel joy without the need of it
to center sure against all tests and save a place to breath
To press myself against life’s tests without this essential thing
is just to waste my life unraveling, …string by string
gallagher
12 september 78
1978-09-12
Tuesday, September 12th, 1978Sensuous sister I see you … us … in the pages— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
of Shaw’s Rich Man, Poor Man.
Our lusty need to win winning out
beyond names and roles … our hours passionate
like his characters are lusty.
Our pasts springboards into lives and futures;
the options, the futures, the magic and the dead ends,
I see us there in his pages
and here in our days.
No regrets in these living hours
I hope you’ll always be my sister and my friend.
gallagher
09-12-78 about/to kathy a.
long beach