Archive for the ‘Years’ Category

1985-12-10

Tuesday, December 10th, 1985

         On the brink of midnight last night
           I bent and kissed her one last time
         and closed the door on so much
           I had come to think I needed.


         One last evening of feelings and sharing,
           of honesty and passion.
         Parting, we would remain friends and lovers
           until the last moment.


         To say that I learned much from her
           would be a profound understatement.
         She drove me to both ends
           of my passion and pain.
         She opened my heart
           and drove humility through me
              like a stake.


         In the end, I believed her every word
           and felt only sadness, not anger.
         Only that I had been more deeply touched
           by her love than hurt.


         She's been there, herself,
           to the end of reason and passion.
         She stands testament to our ability
           to survive these things.
         She, and others like her,
           burning their passion for love like flames
         move without fear
           into the darkness of their futures.


         She took my hand and led me out to that naked edge
           and told me then
         that we must each risk everything we have
           and do it alone.


         Today, I am alone, but I am not the same
           as she found me.


                           gallagher
                           10 dec 85


— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1985-12-10

Tuesday, December 10th, 1985

I used to tell Lise that I’d dreamed about her
at some indefinable time in the past.
Soft memories of her passion and spirit were there;
a hundred impassioned afternoons in an upstairs garret
lost in the play of lovers.

I could never explain or remember more
of these gossamer images but that she brought
these memories out in me ….

Once, on mushrooms, she saw a terrifying view
of some desperate moment
in the middle ages
that scared and moved her deeply.

She and I talked about
if we’d known each other before, as lovers do.

Today, something finally connected for me.
Lise and I have met before
and what has happened between us now
is part of it.
Perhaps we’ve met many times before
on this very battlefield
of passion and pain and addiction
we’ve just quit.

In the past I must have killed her for love,
or she me, or we may have both died of it…

Perhaps, many times, in different places
and different ways.
Always struggling against this same insanity
and indebtedness that addictive love engenders.
Unable to summon the spiritual strength
to endure, we must have succumbed to violence.
just to come back
and try and work it out again.

Last night we succeeded.
We went through all the passion and pain together
and found the grace to remember ourselves,
the strength to know that our spiritual natures
are more enduring than these
material illusions so seamlessly woven.

gallagher
10 dec 85

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —

1985-12-11

Wednesday, December 11th, 1985

Different people, friends
are telling me the same thing.
I cannot have a new future
and hold on to my love for Rose too.

She and others I cling to
are security blankets
that prevent my potential growth
by minimizing risk and change for me.

And if I cannot find the interest or will
to go deeper into my relationship with her
then I should get out of it for both of us
or we will forever remain in limbo.

This may not be the only thing
that caused me to lose Lise’s love
but it certainly played some part in it…
in leaving her heart open to Anthony.

gallagher
11 dec 85

— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —