What an empty place this is;— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
waiting for my heart to heal.
And no one can help me here
waiting for the closing of the year.
Only Thursday … only come to Thursday
from ending Monday
and, perhaps, the hours are only just beginning
to grind me.
My mind, like some incessant weasel,
follows me everywhere
with memories, words, and fantasies
images and remembered feelings.
I read, I wait patiently, I talk to friends,
I exercise until I ache.
I pray for understanding and peace and acceptance
and my heart … aches and aches.
Rose cannot help me, nor can Kathleen.
Helen K. cannot help me.
Only time will heal me
and to get its healing
I must pass its flaming passage.
gallagher
12 dec 85
Archive for the ‘Years’ Category
1985-12-12
Thursday, December 12th, 19851985-12-13
Friday, December 13th, 1985Rose said— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
she’s decided within these last few days
that she wants a ‘real’ marriage;
she’s 37 and she wants a future.
She said she used to love me
to the point of idolizing me
but now, … now she likes Jack a lot
and, if he asks, she’ll continue
to go with him.
And, as for me …
she’s not sure …
she wants my love back like it was
and she wants to hold me at a distance
and comfort my pain like a mother
but not to touch my body
like a woman.
Lise has left me a legacy;
perhaps not what she’s imagined.
She’s driven me to my knees
with pain and insecurity
but not before she saw me
cut Rose to the bone
with my love for her.
And now Rose recedes as Lise did
and my buddhist enlightened futures
come a crushers with Christmas
and a new year and life.
gallagher
13 dec 85
1985-12-13
Friday, December 13th, 1985I can feel the hours go run— Copyright 1965-2008 by Dennis Gallagher —
and I know more day by day
that she won’t call.
It’s still beyond me to understand
how a woman who was in love with me
could turn away
so suddenly.
So many things each day I’d like to tell her
but she’s … she’s not there
and I don’t think
she’s coming again.
gallagher
13 dec 85